Running Out
by GlitterEverything
Summary: He had never given much thought to how he would die, or at what age but when Alexander Lightwood is told that he has two years left to live everything changes.He is determined to make it easier on everyone and keeps everyone at a distance,enter Magnus Bane.The star of the newest hit Broadway musical.Things happen, people fall in love, and people die. All human and maybe a little OC
1. Chapter 1

**Newest story guys and this might get a little depressing at times but it will usually end well or if not you have the right to yell at me about it, it's going to be a rather long story and you might not see and Malec for a while so just warning you. **

Running out

Chapter 1

Alec POV

"You have two years at most Alexander," the man said. He had been staring at me for the past fifteen minutes; I guess he was thinking of the best way to tell me I was dying. There wasn't a best way to break news like that; it was going to be bad either way. Now I was looking at him with what I knew to be a look of shock. I had known three weeks ago that something was wrong, you didn't just pass out in the middle of history class without a reason; I mean I knew that it was boring but it wasn't bad enough to make someone pass out, but I had never even thought that this could be what was making me sick.

They had called Izzy from the dean's office and she had driven up that night, she had forced me to go and see this guy, they said that he was a doctor but whenever I looked at him I saw the grim reaper coming to cut my head off with the big knife thing that he always walked around with.

I actuality he was a man about thirty with lightly greying brown hair and kind blue eyes hidden behind glasses, his name tag read Dr. Graymark, strange name but we were in New York after all. The man seemed nice and I could see that he hated to be the one that had to tell me this, he didn't look like the kind of person that you would see working in a hospital in Manhattan, he looked more like someone that you would see sitting behind the counter at one of those used book stores, with a paperback book in his hands and a thoughtful look on his face.

It didn't really matter to me where he worked I was just trying to think of anything else to get my mind off of the fact that I only had two years left to live, and after that what. Where did I go after that, I wasn't a religious person by nature so I had no clue as to what was after death, all I knew was that you either turned into one of the angels with the wings and halos or a demon with a pitchfork, a long forked tail, and horns. I was so caught up in my thoughts of the afterlife that I didn't hear Dr. Graymarks next question.

"Alexander are you ok, do you want me to call the nurse?" he asked again sounding concerned. I didn't think that I could answer him so I just shook my head and got up to leave the office, he didn't stop me but I thought I heard him sigh to himself and say something that sounded a lot like, 'you can't save them all.'

I ignored the red headed nurse as she tried to talk to me, to ask me what he said, or even what was wrong, I just kept walking. Away from that place and back to my real life where nothing was wrong and the only worries that I had were passing trig and keeping my secret. Now those things seemed so stupid to waste time worrying about, time that I didn't have any more. I could pass trig if I really tried hard enough, but that didn't stop me from worrying, and I'm sure that my parents wouldn't hate me outright if they found out that there oldest son was gay. That didn't mean that I was going to tell them any time soon, they could find out at the funeral like everyone else would, my sister wouldn't keep that little piece of info to herself once I was gone and it couldn't hurt me.

As I exited the hospital and made it back into the herd of people rushing down the street, I stepped into the group and was picked up with everyone else, blending in until you wouldn't have been able to tell where I ended and where another person began. I moved with them until I came to the subway where I left the street crowd along with four or five other people and we descended into the subway as one moving body.

It was always like this in New York City, you were never truly alone; there were always other people around you whether you could see them or not, they were always there in the voices that drifted down from the apartment above you to the random strangers that you bumped into on the street. It was the one thing that I had always hated about this city, all of the people, I wasn't like my sister who could talk to anyone and hated to be without a group of friends, I was happier sitting in my room with a book and just reading. I hated talking to people if I didn't have to, my family referred to it jokingly as my debilitating shyness, but I had never really thought I was that shy, I just liked my privacy.

Izzy was always trying to get me to go with her to parties, clubs, and shit like that but I always told her I didn't want to, the difference between what I say and what she hears is drastic, she hears I don't want to but I'll go anyway, where as I hear I don't want to go. I usually ended up going.

It was at one of those clubs that we met Clary and Simon, they were two people that I had never even imagined Izzy and Jace giving the time of day, but when they came up to us and started a conversation all four of them hit it off immediately, with the exception of Jace and Simon who looked like they wanted to kill each other. The two had been hanging around ever since and Clary and Jace had started dating about three months ago, I was happy for them really I was, she was good for him made him less of an arrogant bastard, but I couldn't help the little shard of jealously that crept into my thoughts whenever I saw them.

It was pathetic really that I was in love with my adoptive brother, Jace had no clue but Izzy had known and when she had confronted me about it and threatened to beat me into a coma if I didn't tell her I had admitted it. She was badass and frankly when she was mad I was terrified of my little sister. Still I didn't like to talk about my sexuality, it was embarrassing, and I was always terrified that someone was going to hear.

After all Senator Lightwood's eldest son being gay would be the scandal of the century, he would never be able to show his face in Washington again, and I would probably be kicked out and told never to grace the doors of the family manor again.

The subway finally got there and I almost screamed in relief, all I wanted to do was go home and cry into my bed. That never helped anything but at the moment all I wanted to do was cry and try not to think about the fact that I had cancer.

I had seen the cancer patients on the TV when the ad's for Saint Jude Children's Hospital came on and I had always though that it would be awful to have to live like that, now it was like a bitter irony that I had cancer. I had never donated to the cancer patients; maybe this was a form of revenge, maybe now I was doomed to die like the people I hadn't given money to.

I shook the thoughts of cancer and revenge out of my head and tried to focus on other things, like wondering how a woman's boobs could be that big and not give her a hunch back, or how the guy sitting beside me had gotten his face tattooed like that. The New York subway was a strange place but you were rarely bored. I tried in vain not to stare at some of the crazies that walked onto these cars.

Eventually I felt he train start to move and I leaned my head back against the glass and felt the rumble of the engine under me, the shake of the glass under the pressure. It was strangely relaxing, I had always loved the subway, the rest of my family even Jace always refused to even get near the thing claiming that you would catch AIDS down here, I was pretty sure that you wouldn't unless you licked the seats or some other stupid ass thing that only Jace would think of.

When the train screeched to a halt and everyone started to move towards the doors like a herd, I hung back for a few moments while the people tried to fight their way free of the train. It was usually funny to watch business men and all of the people that were supposed to be high class and sophisticated fighting people to get off the subway, tonight however nothing was funny.

When the crowd had thinned out a little I walked out the doors and up onto the street, I was back in Manhattan with the sounds of the city surrounding me again, up ahead was the Lightwood manor, its windows lit up with a thousand lights and shadows could be seen moving in the rooms. I saw Izzy's slight shadow move in front of her window and then back again, I didn't have to see her face to know that she was pacing the floor worried.

A sharp stab of guilt rose up quickly but I forced it down, she had to know I told myself, but that didn't stop me from hating to have to tell her. She had already lost one brother in her lifetime I didn't want to make her lose another.

Its better this way, said a voice in the back of my head, I knew it was right it was better that she find out now that from an autopsy. I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders before walking up the small stone pathway to the door; I knocked once and waited for Hodge to open the door. When it swung open I was surprised to see Mayrse Lightwood staring up at me from just inside the door. My mother was not a large woman but her presence was like that of the president or of royalty, she demanded attention.

Now she was looking at me with a mix of shock and concern, they hadn't expected to see me tonight, and I wasn't surprised, I had taken to spending most of my nights at a rented apartment a few blocks away, the manor just didn't feel like home anymore without Max.

"What are you doing here Alexander?" she asked and I flinched at the coldness in her voice. Mayrse wasn't an affectionate woman but usually she had some warmth in her voice, this time however it felt like ice was building on my skin.

"I still live here don't I?" I asked unsure. She watched me for a moment before she smiled a thin tightlipped smile that I had grown used to seeing since the funeral last spring. Then she nodded once and stepped aside.

The house didn't look any different from when I had been home three weeks ago although Hodge might have dusted since then but it was still the same. Despite the terrible memories that this place drug up it was still the first home I knew and I felt myself relax, the tension in my muscles leave and my jaw unclench.

I hadn't been in the house for five minutes when I heard the familiar rapid sound of heels hitting the marble floor and a few moments later my sister appeared from one of the hallways that led to the rest of the house. Her face broke out into a smile as soon as she saw me, she wasted no time running the rest of the way across the room and throwing herself at me. I caught my little sister and then her arms were wrapped around my neck and the breath was being squeezed out of me in one of her bone crushing hugs.

It was good to be home, but the nagging feeling was still in the back of my mind keeping me from really enjoying it, I was going to have to tell her tonight it couldn't wait until morning. I couldn't believe that I was going to have to tell Izzy that her older brother was diagnosed with cancer.

**I know I'm a terrible person for doing that to poor Alec but I thought that the story would be interesting so now we are in this story that involves cancer. And if you didn't read that part that says that he has cancer well I just told you. HE HAS CANCER! Well that should be good enough to insure that no one is confused, good I think that's it. Hope you liked it if you didn't then you don't have to read the next chapter. Also I will try to update every weekend but I wouldn't count on that. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Second chapter! Hope you guys like it and like i said before this is going to be a longer one so please don't yell at me about lack of Malec its coming, I just wanted to start the story out right. So hope you like my story so far. None of the characters are mine they are all sadly Cassandra Clare's but i own the plot or at least i hope i do. :) **

Running out chapter 2

Alec POV

My room was exactly the same as it was the last time I was here, I was convinced that Hodge never came in here, it wasn't like everything was going to get a thick layer of dust in three weeks but the clothes I had worn three weeks ago were still on floor and the bed hadn't been made. Somehow I had a feeling mom had something to do with this.

I quickly picked up the clothes and threw them down the laundry chute before sitting down on the edge of my bed and just staring at the floor. I didn't feel any different, weren't people with cancer supposed to be in severe pain or something like that, maybe the doctor made a mistake and I really don't have cancer. Maybe this was just a mistake.

As much as I told myself that this was a mistake that it hadn't really been me that had cancer and they got our MRI's mixed up the voice in the back of my head told me that I was being delusional, that they wouldn't make a mistake on something this important.

Ok so then why wasn't I coughing up blood like that girl from My Sisters Keeper, Izzy had forced me to watched that movie and by the end of it I had bawled my eyes out, the next day I went out and bought myself a copy, it was still one of my favorite movies ever and I still couldn't make it through the entire thing without crying. Jace always made fun of me for it but I bet him three hundred bucks he couldn't make it through the movie without crying, I had won that bet, he had cried harder than I did.

Now I wished that I hadn't bet him that money, it's just another reason that cancer has a reason to try and get revenge on me; I had used it to get money from my brother. Great now that I think about it cancer really had a reason to hate me.

Focus Alec, I told myself and got back to the matter at hand. How to tell my family and most importantly how to tell my siblings, my mother and father wouldn't really care if I died or not, they had been numb since Max. Izzy and Jace on the other hand would be crushed, or at least I assumed that they would be.

I sat there for a few more minutes before deciding that I might as well tell them now rather than hiding in my room for the rest of my life. I sucked in a breath and got to my feet trying not to let my mind talk me out of doing this, I had to do this, I kept repeating in my mind like a mantra.

As I walked down the familiar hallway to Isabelle's room I couldn't help but remember us racing down this same hall as kids the two of us screaming about people with magic marks and portals. Then running down this hall again as we heard our mom call us into the main room and we both saw the small blonde boy peeking out from behind one of the potted plants, we couldn't have been older than ten then. Then most recently the three of us Jace, Isabelle, and I running down the hall towards our parent's room with tears streaming down our faces and the screech of the 911 operators voice in our ears. So many things had happened to us in this hall and the one that led to mine and Jace's rooms, they were the places that I would always remember having my childhood in, not in the huge beach houses or at one of the thousands of daycares that we were shipped off to but here.

In the last year the hall to Izzy's room seemed to have gotten darker, but maybe that was just the mood that always seemed to be hanging in the air here. Her room was the last one in the hall and the door was covered in posters of bands and musicians along with magazine articles and pictures from vacations, it looked like a scrap book had thrown up.

Voices could be heard from the other side of the door; I could hear Izzy's voice speaking in a whisper, and Jace answering her in the same tone.

"I'm worried about him Jace, he hasn't been the same since it happened and now he's passing out in the middle of one of his college classes." Izzy said. "Something doesn't sound right to me, there's something he isn't telling us, and he hasn't said anything about what the doctor told him he just went to his room and I haven't seen him since."

Someone sighed, probably Jace and then he was talking, and I strained to hear the whispered words through the door.

"He has his own ways of dealing with things Izzy you of all people should know that. I can't count the number of times in the past year that he's disappeared and I would be worried to death on the verge of calling the cops when he would walk through the door with no explanation as to where he had been, but your right about the doctor thing. We have to just ask him, and if it's something important we have to trust that he would tell us."

They really thought that I wouldn't tell them if something was wrong, they really seemed worried and that only made what I was about to do worse. Another small stab of guilt hit me but I forced it away, they needed to know I told myself again.

I didn't bother knocking and just threw the door open and walked inside. They were sitting on Izzy's bed like we had all done so many times. Izzy was leaning against Jace with her head against his shoulder in a way that said that she was really worried. My sister never leaned on anyone unless she was really worried and didn't know what to do. They both looked up at me with shocked looks on their faces and I blushed. I shouldn't have just barged in like that but there was nothing I could do about it now.

"Alec what's wrong?" Izzy asked. I didn't say anything but I shut the door behind me and went to sit across from her on the bed.

"I need to tell you guys something," I paused "Something important."

"Ok," Jace said "Well don't just sit there tell us."

I laughed once but my heart wasn't in it, I was sick of pretending like nothing was wrong. "When I went to the doctor today they did a bunch of tests and when they got them back they said that something was really wrong with me." I stopped and watched their reactions, Izzy's eyes got big and Jace's hands clenched into fists crushing the blanket he was sitting on.

"I have cancer." I admitted finally and waited for the onslaught to begin. I didn't have to wait for long because Izzy screamed and threw her arms around my neck again pulling me towards the two of them and into a bone crushing hug. I could feel tears on her cheeks as she hugged me and even Jace was visibly trying not to cry now.

We stayed like that for a long time just sitting on the bed and trying to comfort one another in any way that we could, eventually Izzy's crying slowed into a kind of sniveling and we broke apart. I reached up to wipe my eyes and was shocked when my fingers came back wet, I had started crying along with my sister. Jace wasn't looking at either of us and I reached out my hand to try and comfort him, I didn't even lay my hand on his shoulder before he slapped it away and jumped off the bed like it might burn him. He stalked out of the room and left us sitting there shocked.

I didn't stay in Izzy's room very long after that, she'd told me to go and find Jace and I wasn't going to argue. Now I was walking down the endless hallways looking for the familiar head of blonde hair that I had grown used to seeing over the years. I hadn't found him anywhere and I only had one more idea of where he might be.

The stairs to the basement were made of stone like almost everything in the house, but these were worn smooth by thousands of feet and stained with soda and everything else you could think of. I could hear sounds coming from down there that sounded suspiciously like crying, but Jace rarely cried.

When I got the bottom and looked up I knew that I had been right in thinking that Jace would be down here, he had always loved to fight and at about age eleven he had begged our parents to get him a personal trainer. They had agreed of course, they never said no to him and over the years he had mastered thousands of forms of fighting and acquired hundreds of weapons from around the globe. I wondered sometimes if he was going to end up as an assassin for the government or something, but I knew that Jace would never do that, it involved to many rules for his taste.

Now he was standing in the middle of the room with his back to me, he had taken off his shirt before he had started like he always did and I could see the slight sheen of sweat on his back, the coiling of his muscles under his skin. I forced my thoughts away from that and walked towards him, he was holding one of his swords in his hands, a strange thing that glowed slightly in the low light, and it was something that he always called a seraph blade. I had never understood his love for weapons but I had always trained with him just so I could be near him. He didn't even look over at me, but he knew I was here.

"Go away Alec," he said, his voice was raw and hoarse like he was holding back tears. I didn't move and he sighed once before moving away from me to put the sword back on the wall.

"Jace I'm not going to go away just because you told me to, I want to know what's wrong,"

He laughed a sharp bark of a laugh and turned to face me, his amber eyes were huge with unshed tears and he looked about ready to break down sobbing.

"What's wrong? What do you think is wrong Alec, you're dying and I can't stop it." He said.

I wanted to cry again as I heard the pain in his voice, he was really going to miss me that much. I had never thought that Jace needed anyone to be happy but maybe I had been wrong.

"I'm not dead yet am I," I asked and he shook his head "then don't be upset. Not yet anyway there's still a chance that I will make it through this alive." I was lying and I hated it but I hated seeing him like this even more, it was like someone was driving a white-hot nail into my heart.

"No you're not dead yet Alec, but you have to make it through this, for me and for Izzy. So fight this thing like hell." He said and pulled me in for a hug.

For a moment it was just me and Jace hugging but then the thoughts that I tried to keep down surfaced again and I broke away from him leaving him staring at me confused. It was then that I thought that I might as well tell him my other less deadly secret.

Before I could talk myself out of it I just blurted out the words that had haunted me since I was fourteen, "Jace, I'm gay."


	3. Chapter 3

**This is like the shortest chapter ever and I'm really sorry but I just couldn't figure out how I wanted to do this, so I just did it and I hope that you like it. Some chapters just don't flow like others and some really flow well, if you just hate it then feel free to tell me, please be at least a little nice though and if you don't think that it sucked all that bad then you can tell me that as well. I just wanted to do this chapter when I had some free time and less writers block. Once again none of the characters belong to me only the plot. Hope you enjoy the majorly sucky chapter, and the next one might have something to do with Magnus, maybe I'm still decided whether to do that this soon in the story, but even if I do include a Magnus chapter next it wont really include much Malec. Ok I'm sure that the AN of this chapter is longer than the real chapter. Great...**

Running out 3

I waited in uneasy silence, each of the seconds seeming like eternities. I was waiting for the reaction that I had dreaded for years. The look of disgust that would cross my brothers face, the flinch that would follow and then the unbearable silence that would stretch on until I moved out and left this all behind for good. None of these things happened to my surprise, instead his eyes widened just a little and he started to laugh, not a quiet kind of laugh either, it was the kind that made tears run down your face and leave you gasping for breath if you ever managed to stop. When he calmed himself down enough where he might be able to talk without sounding like a drowning walrus he said the two words that in my wildest dreams about coming out I had never even thought of my brother saying. "Well finally," I was sure that my mouth dropped almost instantly at the words and he laughed again.  
"W-What," I asked hating the stutter that I got when I was nervous.  
"I've known for years Alec, no straight guy would turn down a date to Prom with Camille Belcourt." he said, "I knew then that you had to be either gay or just bat-shit crazy."  
I stood staring for another five minutes and Jace began to shift uncomfortably from one foot to another, the action bringing back memories of when we had stood in front of Robert and Mayrse after we had broken their prize fine china set that had been displayed in the cabinets for as long as I had been alive,he had done the same thing then and it was a nervous habit that no amount of training could get rid of. I didn't know what to say, my brother had accepted the fact that I was gay, all the fears that I'd had about it, about him being disgusted seemed silly now. So I didn't say anything, I simply threw my arms around him and crushed him in one of the famous Lightwood family bear hugs, he hesitated for a minute before I felt him relax and his arms went around me. We stayed like that for a while before we broke apart, and my smile faded at the weird look in his eye.  
"Alec I just wonder why you had to wait so long to tell me, I'm not Mayrse and I'm certainly not Robert. It's not like I would be disgusted by you. Love is love no matter what form it comes in," he said "That's what Clary says anyway."  
That made me laugh, the tension that had been in the air up until now dissipated almost instantly, I should have known that Jace wouldn't have been able to come up with anything like that. I should have known that Clary would have been the one that told him it, he wasn't known for his expression of feelings or his way with words.  
"I was scared," I admitted "I thought that you would hate me, that you would be disgusted by what I am, the way that I am." "Alec I could never hate you, it wouldn't matter if you turned into a blue purple hedgehog and started dancing in the sky with George Washington."  
I laughed again at his choice of words, only Jace would have managed to bring something completely stupid into a serious conversation, but it did lighten the mood and pretty soon we were on the floor clutching our sides as we laughed.  
When we managed to go more than twenty seconds without cracking up again we got to our feet and started to practice, the same way that we had done for years. Staying in the basement for hours with our trainer losing ourself in the strain of muscles and sweat and pretending that nothing outside of our world of weapons could touch us. It was relieving but the sense of wrongness that had nagged me all day, ever since I found out, was still there with the invisible word echoing through my head.  
Cancer, you have cancer, nothing would let me forget, and I kept expecting to start coughing up blood any moment and collapse into a puddle of agony, only praying for it to be quick. Thoughts of cancer had distracted me and Jace landed a lucky blow on my side that was sure to leave a bruise. I stumbled back and he laughed, making me see red and lung at him again only to have him side step and send me sprawling head first onto the ground. This was the way that it went for hours, there was no talk of cancer or the fact that my biggest secret was now out and that Jace had accepted it, and no one talked about the feeling that hung in the air like a ghost, the ghost of a ten-year old boy with shaggy brown hair and to big glasses making him look like a cartoon. We just took solace in the exercise and tried to forget about our screwed up lives, and the uncertain future that lied ahead of us. The Lightwoods were not out of the woods yet, and I was starting to wonder if we ever would be again.

**That was the worst chapter that I have ever written and I have written some really terrible shit. Ok well that's done and now I want to bury my head in the ground and deny that I wrote this, but its done so there you have it. **  
**GlitterEverything :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Running out 4

**Hope this makes up for the sucky last chapter. Characters do not belong to me, only the plo**t.

The sound of heels on the stone steps woke me from my sleep the next morning; I cracked one eye and looked up to see who could possibly be waking me up at this ungodly hour. Well I was guessing it was some ungodly hour, either way I just wanted to sleep and those shoes were getting in the way of that. When the person finally made it down the steps and the clacking of heels on stone stopped I had to laugh. It was Izzy, who was fully dressed in black ankle boots with sky-high heels on them and a dress that was way too short for the New York city winter, not that it mattered to Isabelle. She was looking at us like we were two hobos that she had found in her house and was thinking about how long it would take the cops to get here, but I really couldn't blame her the Jace had stormed out of her room last night without even a hint as to where he was going and I had followed, she had probably been worried.

Jace.

The thought of my brother caused the events from last night to come rushing back into my mind and I smiled, I felt free, my secret was out to everyone that I really cared about and none of them hated me. It was like a dream and I resisted the urge to pinch myself just to see if it was true. Jace had fallen asleep first last night, I had left to get something to drink and when I walked back in he was asleep on one of the training mats. I didn't bother waking him up, I simply grabbed my own mat and went to sleep, too tired to bother climbing back up the stairs. That had been sometime around three in the morning and it was way too early for me to be awake, I didn't care if it was noon, it was still too early.

"Alec get your lazy ass up or we're going to be late," Izzy said. I groaned and rolled away from her, acting like I was ten again and I didn't want to go to school. She sighed and I heard her footsteps coming closer.

"You are going to get up, I don't care how late you were up last night, we have somewhere to be today and it's my job to get you two there." She said and kicked me hard in the shin.

"Ow!" I said sitting up and glaring at her, "what the fuck was that for?"

"You wouldn't get up." She smiled, and I wondered what possessed people to call my little sister sweet.

Fearing another kick with those demon boots of hers I got up, listening to the bones in my back pop, and stretching out the tension in my muscles that I had gotten sleeping on the floor all night. I could feel the bruises on my sides and back forming already, Jace had gotten in more than a few hard kicks and as the day went on the pain was only going to get worse. A screech that sounded more animal than human made me jump and I looked over to find Izzy standing over a now very wet Jace with an empty bucket. She had dumped cold water on him again.

Out of all of us Jace was the one that was the most difficult to get up, like me he usually woke up on his own, but when you tried to get him up it was damn near impossible. The man could sleep through a hurricane, it was ridiculous.

Izzy had long since lost her patience when it came to waking Jace up, she would usually just dump ice water on him like she just did, or play duck noises until he woke up cursing and muttering about how you should never trust a duck. He had some sort of weird fear of them I guess, and no one, not even Jace, could ever explain it.

Now Jace was cursing under his breath at our sister and trying to shake all the water out of his hair, he looked like a drowned rat, or maybe one of the those Chihuahuas after they get shaved.

"Izzy couldn't you have picked another way to wake me up, like maybe a bull horn or something," he said still shaking water off.

"No I can't, even if I get a megaphone and scream into it you'll just keep sleeping. I didn't have time to wake you up nicely today. We have to meet mom and dad at Taki's in an hour."

My eyes widened, mom and dad never asked us to meet them at Taki's unless it was something serious, and I had a bad feeling about today. The good mood that I had woken up with faded almost instantly, couldn't I just have a good day for once, without something going wrong. I had probably been up for about five, maybe ten, minutes and already something bad was happening. Karma again I guess.

"Why are we meeting them there, why can't they just tell us at home?" I asked.

"I don't know Alec but I do know that you two can't go out of the house looking like you slept on the floor all night." She said and started walking back towards the stairs, shooting us a look over her shoulder that would make fire turn to ice. I followed her not wanting to make her already frazzled temper any worse and Jace, still cursing and muttering about water, followed me.

We each went off on our own, Izzy went to call the car, and Jace and I went to get cleaned up. I took a quick shower and pulled on the first thing that I saw in my closet, an old black sweater with about a million holes in it, and dark wash jeans that were about ten sizes too big for me. I wasn't much for fashion or appearances at all really; I just wanted to blend in so that maybe I could stay out of whatever drama was going on. In the Lightwood family blending in to the background was a full-time job and I was the best at it, a lot of people in the city didn't even know there was a third Lightwood, I intended to keep it that way.

I walked out of my room and down to the kitchen to find Jace already dressed and sitting at the counter staring at something, as I got closer I saw that it was one of the fruits that had been delivered in a basket by one of our families friends or something. It was a mango, although it looked like it had seen better days, with dark spots on the skin and a strange-looking dent that I was sure wasn't supposed to be in a mango, but Jace kept staring at it like it was some sort of alien species.

"It's a mango Jace," I said. He didn't jump, he didn't even look over at me, but that wasn't strange, Jace was impossible to sneak up on always had been and it made planning April Fools day jokes extremely difficult, usually he would find them and make them backfire on me or Isabelle.

"I know it's a mango Alec, I've just never seen one that wasn't cut up before. It looks weird." I laughed, he sounded so serious talking about the strangeness of a mango, I would just sound insane, but Jace could do anything and make it sound or look cool. He was the epitome of perfection, and was constantly teasing someone or making some sort of smart ass sarcastic comment.

"Would you two stop talking about fruit, its fruit eat it or throw it away." Izzy said stomping into the room and grabbing her purse from the table by the door, "Now we have to go the cars here and Hodge's waiting."

Jace grabbed the mango and took a bite, his face twisted up immediately and he spit the chewed up mango all over the Persian rugs, Mayrse was going to kill him.

"It's rotten," he said, looking at the bitten into fruit like it had betrayed him.

"And you're an idiot. Let's go," I said and walked past him out the door.

The car ride was silent, even Jace was too worried to talk, our parents were not the sort of parents that called you and told you to meet them at a restaurant just because they wanted to see you. Our parents were super busy, each one of them being politicians and were usually not in the city for more than three days. We had thought that after Max things would have gotten better, that they would have tried to spend more time with us or something, but things just got worse, they threw themselves into their work and spent more and more time away from us and from each other. Every time they spent more than a few hours with each other they started to argue, and all of us could see divorce on the horizon, it wouldn't be pretty but we were all close enough to legal age that it wouldn't really affect us that much.

Mayrse and Robert Lightwood had been called by several news and political authorities to be 'the most determined people in America.' They had each clawed their way to the top in politics, fighting to get spots wherever they could until they made it to Congress. Mayrse was a House member and Robert one of the major democrat players in the Senate. They were ruthless, and wouldn't hesitate to take anyone down.

Even each other.

The car slowed to a stop and the engine cut off, I heard Hodge's door open and then close and his quick footsteps on the pavement outside, then the door opened and bright sunlight streamed in through the open door. We all looked at each other, sharing what I guess could be called a comforting look before Izzy got out of the car followed by me and then Jace.

The street outside was strangely empty, with only the security guards that we had come to call 'extended family' flanking us on either side. I guess the news crew hadn't picked up our scent yet. We walked side by side to the door of our longtime favorite restaurant. It was the one place that all of us could agree on, and coincidently it was the place we usually ate at.

Seated in a booth away from the windows in shaded quiet corner of the crowded restaurant where our parents. They stuck out in the happy lunch crowd like sore thumbs, Mayrse with her black hair pulled back severely from her face and the same blue eyes that I saw every time I looked in the mirror, she would have been pretty if not for the coldness that was in her eyes and the stiff set to her shoulders. Robert was her opposite, huge in every way that a man should be and intimidating with his dark hair peppered here and there with gray and cold brown eyes that chilled you to the bone. Though he seemed relaxed now sitting in a booth next to his wife, I could see the set of his shoulders, the tension in his jaw, this was not going to end well for whoever their target was today. I just hoped it wasn't me.

I felt Izzy slip her hand into my own and looked over to meet worried brown eyes with my blue ones, she didn't let go as we made our way over to the table, squeezing way to tightly and causing it to go numb, but I didn't' care, she had a right to be scared, we all did.

When we finally sat down she released my hand and the blood rushed back into it, I sighed in relief and glanced over to see if Jace was in the same state. He was, rubbing his wrist to try to get the feeling back into his hand, Izzy had always done this to us when she was worried, making our hands go numb or kicking us in the shins repeatedly to relieve the tension. We never minded though, anything to get her through the meal without losing it completely like I always wanted to.

Mayrse sat down her iPhone, her eyes snapped up to meet mine and I shuddered, then she looked at Jace and Izzy who all tried not to let on how nervous they were.

"Hello children," she said her voice cold like snow and sharper than a daggers blade.

**Mayrse is an ice queen bitch, what's new there but I hope you liked it anyway. Tell me what you think or not. I hope to get the next chapter up by next weekend so keep reading. I love all my readers.**

**GlitterEverything**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm sorry about the wait on this chapter, I thought that it would be easier to write but when writers block hits, well your screwed. Hope you all don't hate me for the wait. Enjoy the new chapter.**

Running out chapter 5

We didn't say anything, all of us to scared to utter a word, what was this about, what could it possibly be about, what had we done. The questions flitted through my mind and then out again, humming in my brain like angry hornets, they were annoying and I wished that they would shut up.

"Congratulations," Mayrse said, and for the second time in twenty-four hours my mouth dropped. This time though I didn't sit there like that I shut my mouth before Mayrse could scream at me about manners and etiquette and just looked at them my eyes wide with shock.

"Well aren't you going to say anything Alec," asked Robert who, for the first time since we had sat down, had put down his phone and was watching us, kind of like the way a lion watched its helpless prey. I could feel my sister and brothers eyes on me confused asking me what was there to be congratulated for, dying, but our parents didn't' know that, they couldn't.

"Thanks," I said not wanting to say the wrong thing, "but what for. I haven't done anything."

"What for?" Mayrse said her eyes narrowing with confusion, "Do you really think that we wouldn't be notified when our son passed his Harvard admittance exam, really Alexander have a little more faith in us than that."

I was stunned, with everything that had happened over the last two days the exam had slipped my mind. I had taken it two weeks ago and up until Dr. Graymark dropped the bomb that I had cancer it was the thing that was taking up most of my worries. I had known for a long time that I had to be a lawyer, like my parents, Izzy and Jace were expected to go to law school as well, but our parents weren't stupid. They knew that I was the only one that even had a hope of graduating with anything close to what it took to be a successful lawyer. I had crammed for weeks for that test, staying up for hours studying until I was sure that I would be able to pass, but I still worried and when the test results didn't come in fast enough I got even more worried. That was when I passed out in the middle of math class at NYU.

"Oh y-yeah the test," I said and blushed at my stutter. Robert laughed, the sound of it loud enough to make several other people seated in the restaurant look over and glare at our table.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed over Alexander. You passed with the highest grade in the class, we're proud of you." He said, "And to celebrate we are taking all of you to see the newest musical on Broadway tonight."

This week just kept getting stranger. Our parents never did anything like this for us, even if they were proud of us they would usually just get us a new car, not invite us to a Broadway musical with them, they were working some other angle I just knew it. Beside me Izzy was beaming, I was afraid that her smile might blind someone, she loved our parents and although she had accepted the fact that they wouldn't be in our lives very much she always jumped at the chance to spend time with them.

"Really I love Broadway," she gushed still beaming at them, "What's the name of the play?"

"We don't know, just that everyone's talking about it." Mayrse said not even looking at Isabelle. Jace who had stayed silent up until now butted in, "can we bring guests?" he asked.

Mayrse looked over at him briefly and nodded once before turning her attention back at me, somehow I got the feeling that there was something that I was supposed to be doing or saying that I wasn't.

"What do you think about the idea Alexander?" she asked still staring.

I hesitated not wanting to tell her that I hated Broadway, everything was too loud to over the top and it was the prime media spot, it usually got front page when the Lightwoods went to Broadway. I was spared from answering by the sharp ring of her cellphone; she frowned but answered it anyway. The person on the other end sounded frantic, talking so fast that I couldn't understand anything she said. Mayrse seemed to be able to understand her and answered in a calm clipped voice telling the woman that she would be there soon and not to panic. When she hung up she stood, grabbed her coat and left the table, walking quickly to the door before hailing a cab and disappearing inside it. The cab took off and with it I felt myself relax a little.

Robert said something else to Jace about the newest shipment of imported knives that the museum got in last week and left as well, only stopping long enough to pay the bill and tell us all goodbye and that he would see us tonight for the play.

When both of our parents had left we sat in silence for a few more minutes before Jace just burst out laughing, he couldn't seem to stop and we didn't know what in the hell was so funny.

"Jace what is so damn funny," I asked after he had been dying of laughter for ten minutes.

"Your expression when they said congrats, god you looked like you had just seen Hodge naked or something." He managed to get out in between laughs.

Isabelle started laughing after that and they kept laughing all the way back to the car, by the time Hodge closed the door I wanted to jump off the Empire State building.

"Would you two stop laughing it wasn't that funny," I said "I was shocked is all."

"That's not really the right word for it Alec," Izzy replied "You looked like you were going to pass out, or try to make a break for the door."

I rolled my eyes at her, and tried to ignore their giggles for the rest of the way home.

When we finally rolled into the driveway I didn't wait for Hodge to open the door I jumped out and ran up the stairs, eager to get away from the never-ending laughter and jokes at my expense. I could still hear them laughing when I shut the huge front doors behind me, I leaned back against the wood grateful for the cool surface, I had been burning up in the car and somehow I didn't think it was because of stress. I felt like I hadn't slept in days although I had gotten more than enough sleep last night, even if it had been on the basement floor. I wanted to sleep forever, but something told me not to close my eyes, that if I did I wouldn't wake up. I stumbled down the hall to my room and yanked the door open, I didn't bother to close it, I simply stripped off the heavy sweater I was wearing and fell into bed in just my jeans and a black shirt. Sleep came quickly and soon I was lost to unconsciousness.

_Whispers echoed throughout the halls, chasing me, always there in my head whispering horrible fantasies in my ears. Things that someone should never think about raced through my mind, anything to keep the voices away, one voice could be heard no matter where I went; it was soft and familiar like a bed after a long day of school._

_Max._

_I could hear him in the hallways, in the walls, and behind every door. Screams echoing throughout the house, whispers of 'you didn't save me' assaulting my ears, each one driving me closer to the edge between sanity and insanity. Then an image, my little ten-year old brother, his eyes staring up at me, unseeing and glassy with death, and the spreading blood across the floor seeping from the fatal head wound, the bullet that I couldn't stop, and the brother that I hadn't protected._

_A small rosewood casket being lowered into the ground, the sound of Izzy's crying, the smell of white roses and the preacher's monotone voice talking about eternal happiness and hell on earth. My mother's tear-stained face and father's bloodshot eyes, never moving from there fixed position staring at the casket as it was lowered farther into the ground. Then in an instant everything changed, my mother rushing forward throwing herself at the hole in the ground, mine and Jace's arms coming around her trying to hold her back, and her screams heartbroken and filled with more emotion then I had ever heard from her._

_"Max! No not my son, not my Max! Take me with you! I don't want this anymore; I don't want to live anymore!"_

_Then another voice this one farther away, "Alec! Wake up Alec! Wake up!"_

My eyes opened and Izzy was hovering over me still trying to shake me awake, the dream was still playing over and over in my mind, the memories that I tried to escape, to push down, to try to forget. She was watching me, her brown eyes bright with worry mixed with excitement, I wondered for a minute what could be so exciting and then I remembered we were going to Broadway tonight.

"I hate Broadway do I have to go," I groaned into my pillow. She laughed and yanked the covers off of me.

"Yes Alec you have to go, I don't think you can skip out on your own reward." She was right of course, the only reason that she was getting to go was because I had passed my exam, and our parents were not going to let me back out of this one.

When I finally managed to get up enough willpower to pry myself away from my pillow I realized that Izzy was standing in front of my open closet door and muttering about something. I had a bad feeling that I was going to end up in a tux before we got out of this house tonight, or at least something more fancy than jeans, a t-shirt, and a sweater, which is what I would prefer to wear.

I watched her for a minute before leaving her to her work and going to try to do something with my hair, which from the glimpse I caught of myself in the mirror was sticking up in every direction, I cared enough about my appearance to not go out with bed head.

I brushed my teeth and ran a comb through my hair before walking back out into what used to be my room, clothes were thrown everywhere, things that I didn't even know I owned were covering the bed and the floor. Standing in the middle of the chaos was Isabelle holding something that looked way too fancy for me to ever wear.

"Finally found it, honestly Alec you have to start dressing better, that or stop being gay because most gay men can at least dress themselves," she said handing me the suit, "now put that on."

"Isabelle I'm sure that not all gay men are fashionable, just like not all girls like to wear dresses and flirt all the time," she rolled her eyes at me but didn't argue she knew I was right.

I walked back into the bathroom and shut the door before starting to get dressed in a more Isabelle approved outfit. I hated suits, they were way to hot and had too many things that had to be buttoned, snapped, and tied for my taste, but I wore them just to keep mother and Isabelle from killing me. That and if you wore a sweater and jeans to a black tie even you were sure to get noticed and that was not in my stay out of the spotlight plan.

Izzy was waiting with a blue tie that she had dug up from somewhere and hurriedly tied it around my neck before darting out of the room, probably to go and find Jace. I was still tired, but I didn't feel like I was burning alive anymore and I was pretty sure that I could make it through the play without falling asleep.

I wandered out my room and down the hallway to the living room to wait for Jace and Izzy who were still missing; when I walked in I was surprised to see a familiar head of flaming red hair sitting on the couch beside my brother.

Clary.

I didn't think that I would ever understand what Jace saw in her, she was pretty enough sure, but she wasn't his type. I had met enough of Jace's past girlfriends to know that he did indeed have a type, beautiful and blonde with not a lot of brains, I don't know why he had always dated girls like this but he had. They had all been almost ridiculously stupid, asking if I dyed my hair black and wore blue contacts because I didn't look like Jace, and asking Isabelle if she was lesbian just because she didn't want to date her "brother."

I had been shocked when Jace wouldn't shut up about some artist girl that he had danced with at one of the clubs, about how pretty she was and how smart, and I have to admit I was more than a little jealous, but that had been weeks ago and they were still dating. The jealousy hadn't faded though and I couldn't help but picture me as the person that Jace couldn't seem to keep his hands of instead of the redheaded fireball.

"Hey Alec," she said and smiled at me. She was the only other person besides Isabelle and now Jace that knew, and I hadn't told her she had figured it out on her own, that was another reason I didn't really like her.

"Hi Clary," I said and sat down on the couch across from her. Jace had his arm around her and was whispering something in her ear that I was pretty sure would make me sick if I could hear it. Then the familiar clacking of boots on the floor told me that Izzy was on her way, you could hear her way before you ever saw her.

This time she wasn't alone she was dragging someone along behind her giggling quietly to herself now and then, as the two got closer I could tell who the other person was, Clary's friend and Izzy's sometimes boyfriend, or more correctly named 'boy toy.' Izzy didn't have real boyfriends she had boys that she kept around for fun and then stomped on with her high heels until they were nothing but blubbering messes. Simon however was different, he had managed somehow to capture her attention over and over and secure a place as one of our friends, Izzy really did like the nerd although if you asked her she would deny it and then blush, something she rarely did, giving away her lie.

"Ok everyone here?" Izzy asked stepping away from Simon and getting her coat from its place hanging over the back of the couch.

A chorus of yes' answered her and she smiled happily before walking out the door gesturing for us to follow her. Hodge was waiting for us outside with the car and opened the door to let Izzy in, I followed her and the rest of them got in after us. It was kind of a tight fit with five of us in the back seat of the car but somehow I didn't think that the others minded the closeness to much.

The car was filled with conversation as we drove through downtown Manhattan towards Broadway, but I couldn't bring myself to really take part in it. A couple of times Jace would try to get me into the conversation but I would only answer his questions and then shut up, eventually they all got the message and left me alone.

The car was slowing down and I could already see the flashing of the cameras up ahead, it seemed that all the paparazzi were out tonight. I looked out of the window of the car and tried to catch a glimpse of the name of my torture for the next three or four hours. I couldn't see past the throngs of people but it didn't matter I would hate it no matter what, it was Broadway and I hated Broadway.

**Wow I have severe writers block. I couldn't even finish this chapter without hating it, I'm not really satisfied with this chapter now but it's going to have to do. I can't rewrite this again, it's to painful. So if you liked it good if not welcome to my world. **  
**GlitterEverything**


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